For other people
12th April might be another day passed in their life, but for me it
shows me that I am quantitatively getting older and adding one digit in my age.
I realized that getting older is a must that everyone couldn’t avoid, but
somehow, for me this kind of not-teen-ager anymore is a kind of new things to
aware. Not to be dramatic, but I feel like….. I am twenty, my age is not
something-teen anymore and it shows me that I am closer to some uncertainty of
life after I graduated from my Bachelor degree about a year ahead. I don’t know
which one is feeling more sad, is that me the one who looks my parents getting
older and start to find difficulties on reading, listening even standing from
the sitting position or my parents that see me getting more mature (I wish) but
have very little time to spend with them, I rarely going home due to the much
tasks to do or an organization activity, and most of the time I spend when I am
going home is sleep….. I know I am so mean, but I really feel tired.
No matter how
many times I have to spend in a traffic around Surabaya to Candi, Sidoarjo, if
I have time, I won’t put off these kind of rare chances. Do you know what is it
all for? To charge my spirit. For me, my parents are the most important person
in my life. Recently I really feel sad if I can’t take a time to see them, to
make sure that they are alright, not only wondering are they alright almost
every time before I am going to sleep.
Until this 9th
week of my 6th semester, I could proudly say that I haven’t been
absent in all lecture I take, there’s one of my friends that it’s something
great doing. But for me, it’s the only thing I could do to make myself sure
that I have done my best to create a better future for my family, not to be
drama-queen, but I am fully realized that I am not born in a royal family but
nor in a difficulty in economy either. Our family is a kind of maybe the most
family in our country, we could eat well every day, pay the tax and monthly bill.
But for other things we have to arrange it well. I almost forget when did the
last time we have a family trip together for holiday….. yes, I am sure I am not
the only family that living in this kind of life, but the only thing I want to
make sure that our life will change much better, for my mom and dad that would
never stop pray for me and always try to determine that my need has been filled
up, till sometimes I feel that it’s a bit over seeing them giving me too much
attention that I couldn’t reply yet.
My mom and dad
are not a professor nor an employee in a reputable companies, but they always
show me that study is a need, no matter they are already half-century years
old, they keep on studying. My dad is recently busy with his dissertation, he
said that if he want be a professor someday, so we could live better too. No matter
how he is so not accustomed with the things called computer, Microsoft word,
and internet, he keeps on writing, keeps on studying, this makes me sad that I
couldn’t spend more time to help him correcting his typewriting because I also
have too much tasks to do, I really feel very sinful when I was so much tired
but my dad keep in asking my help and I am a bit grumbling and sometimes being
so rude, how could I be this kind of the only child he has? L
My mom, she
might be only a usual housewife, but I see her as a wise woman, very tough and
so reliable. She’s not a scholar, even a master. But in her mind, she has a big
spirit of studying, I adore her bright eyes when she’s telling me about her
activity in her recently activities, taking a free lecture of Arab and Islam things
in D2 Muhammadiyah University. She always tell me that she’s very sorry to
study in this age, whether there’s no late on studying, but she finds many
difficulties in retrieving a lecture. She’s not the only Mother in those
program, but I believe that my mother is the one who have the most spirit to
study beyond her friends in same age. I see her reading a lot of things and ask
me to be her dialogue partner to keep in mind of Arabic language. I know she’s
not the best student, but I really see the aim of study in her eyes. She say
she will study to give her husband and child the same knowledge that she got in
that free program.
These two people
keep on telling me that there’s no excuse for not studying, and this is why I
always force myself, no matter how much I feel tired, to keep on finishing my
task as good as I can and not skip the class as long as I am in a good
condition. This all of business that a lot of people say that I take too much
responsibilities are no other to ensure that I have tried my best to prepare
their comfortable life, much better place to life, facilities and all of the
things that we couldn’t have yet. I love them, and I realize that as I have my
twenty birthday, they’re also getting older, and none of us know how much our
remaining time to make our parents proud, to make them know that we are trying
our best, in our own way, that we wouldn’t make them sad by giving them bad
transcript of the education that they already provide to us with all of effort
and hold they’re ego just for us.
In this period
of time, I just write to keep warning myself that there’s no excuse for me to
be failed. Just like my father always trigger me to not be satisfied of what we’ve
achieved, there are a lot of people doing better than us, why do we have to be
so arrogant by being our self?